Friday, November 2, 2012

Against The Grain- How I'm Learning Optimism

My rose colored glasses are bloody. My window to the world is muddy. I, unfortunately, am bent toward the negative. Whether due to early experiences, or natural temperament,  I'm a bit (much) of a pessimistic human. Now, I'm not down on myself, or even ashamed of how I think, but I do recognize the power of thoughts on the shape of my world. In hopes of finding my way to a less-gloomy life, I sought out some new tools. Enter Learned Optimism, and my Self Care journal.


Self-help books can be a bit... well, I guess I feel every Tom, Dick, And Harry has a book for sale, claiming ability to change my life if I just do what they did in their life. And I just don't buy into that. Or buy those books. Life is subjective. People are autonomous. I think trying to model the behavior of one individual can set several up for disappointment. Of course, I'm a pessimist. ;-)

What sold me on this book was a review from another author. I thought, well I like what this person writes, and I trust their review, so I'm going to give this a go. I'm so glad I did, because I've learned some valuable lessons. Learned Optimism paints a dreary picture of pessimism, and the impact of negativity on one's life. Then it provides a test, so you can figure out just how pessimistic you are. Well that was fun! Not! I had to move on FAST from the devastating, yet already known results of my test. In fact, I skipped a huge portion of the book just to get from test results to TELL ME HOW TO FIX MYSELF BEFORE I MOVE INTO A CAVE!!!

In the Change section of the book, the author lays out a very clear path to battle negative thinking. By learning to distract, dispute, and distance myself from my beliefs during adversity, I'm gaining control of my thoughts. Hooray!

This post is getting a little too long for my taste, but I will write another post soon about how I'm specifically using the tools in Learned Optimism to find balance and hope in my daily life. Stay tuned! In the meantime, if you want to check out Learned Optimism, the link below will take you to Amazon.

Learned Optimism: How To Change Your Mind And Your Life (on Amazon)



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13 comments:

  1. UnknownNovember 2, 2012 at 4:03 PM

    I can't wait to see how you're using those tools.

    It does amuse me that they'd have a self-test in there. "Gee. I thought I was a pessimist ALREADY or I wouldn't be reading the book, but WOW!" ;)

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    1. LifeOnLiverpoolNovember 2, 2012 at 6:47 PM

      Thanks! I'll share more soon! The test was overwhelming. I scored as severely pessimistic as one can score! HUZZAH! And you're right, I already KNEW it, and skipped a lot of the book as I felt it was depressing.

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  2. LoriNovember 2, 2012 at 4:17 PM

    this looks great. i’m going to see if my library has it.

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    1. LifeOnLiverpoolNovember 2, 2012 at 6:49 PM

      Lori, it's similar to your book in that I'm reading it with highlighter in hand! Thanks for commenting! :D

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    2. LoriNovember 3, 2012 at 12:12 PM

      ha, thank you so much! :D

      i love positive psychology — one of my favorites is "the how of happiness."

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  3. Wrath Of MomNovember 2, 2012 at 4:44 PM

    I'm seriously tempted to buy this book based on your review. But I bet it sucks.

    HAHAHA! That last bit was suppose to be a joke. Probably one of the not-funny variety. I agree w/ your assessment of the self-help book industry, especially since reading Happiness by Will Ferguson. You might enjoy it. Though it's kind of a pessimistic/cynical view and would be sort of counter productive.

    On second thought: nevermind.

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    1. LifeOnLiverpoolNovember 2, 2012 at 6:52 PM

      HAHAHA! I have read a few self help books that have actually helped. Far many more didn't do anything but leave me stuck in a helpless, never-gonna-attain that way. So I've tried to swear them off, and only have read a few in the last decade or so. This one works for me, but I did skip the entire middle of the book, the one that describes how HORRIBLE pessimism is, y'know, as if I didn't just buy the book because I ALREADY KNEW THAT!!!!

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  4. amyNovember 3, 2012 at 3:31 AM

    Thanks for the review...I'll be checking for it too. I used to be better at optimism.

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    1. LifeOnLiverpoolNovember 3, 2012 at 11:42 AM

      Thanks for reading, Amy! I do feel I used to be more optimistic. Then life got complicated. And I think it's natural for optimism to be worn down over time.

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  5. AnonymousNovember 3, 2012 at 11:40 AM

    Glad to hear this is helpful for you. I will have to check it out for the kiddo. I got the book, "Freeing your child from negative thinking" Your post reminded me to break it back out :)

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    1. LifeOnLiverpoolNovember 3, 2012 at 11:44 AM

      Thanks! There is a whole part of this book about testing your child's optimism level and then helping them escape pessimism! I've not read it yet, as I'm still working on implementing the tools in my own daily life, but I will go back and read that part soon.

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  6. AnonymousNovember 3, 2012 at 1:10 PM

    this is a fantastic post, you are really an excellent writer, I hope you keep it up this november and so on- your stories and reviews can really help others- and best of all be a good source of catharsis for your self

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  7. LifeOnLiverpoolNovember 3, 2012 at 3:03 PM

    Thank you, A! I appreciate you saying that. I do find writing to be a healing exercise, but I don't make enough time for it. I'm excited to see where November takes me, and curious about how much I'll continue writing after the challenge.

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